There is a presence that lingers like a mysterious fog over our school— prowling through the halls, to be found neither hither nor thither, yet everywhere at once. Turn the corner, and he will be there. Blink, and he’s gone.

Likened to the “Bigfoot of Blue Valley,” senior Kayvon Fardipour has had many reported sightings, but is his existence fact or fiction? 

In a seemingly innocent rumor that has since swelled to a raging debate, students across the board have been butting heads on exactly this question since the start of the ‘23-‘24 school year.

Claire Hannasch is an adamant believer in the Kayvon Conspiracy(™).

“He’s a sentient human being that roams the earth— physically,” she said. “If you put your hand on his arm, there is an object there — it doesn’t just pass through.” 

Hannasch even claims to have experienced the Kayvon phenomenon outside the walls of Blue Valley. 

“We’ve been to Barnes and Noble a couple of times, we’ve been to Worlds of Fun— I’ve even met his parents,” she said.

However, many disagree with this perspective. For example, Molly James insists Kayvon cannot possibly exist. 

“He’s too perfect to be real,” she said, “but in a deceiving way. You’d think he got a 36 on the ACT, but no — he only got a 35. It’s all part of the illusion — he can’t be too perfect, or it’s not believable.” 

James admits that the idea of Kayvon exists across the board, but she claims it only does so in our minds, likening it to mass hysteria. 

“Kayvon exists as a collective figment of our imaginations, and it’s time people accept that,” she said.

Meanwhile, senior Arden Peterson offers an entirely fresh perspective on the issue.
“I think Kayvon exists in a sort of intermediate state — he is physically present some of the time, but it’s more like he spontaneously spawns when you least expect him to be there,” Peterson said. “So half the time he exists in this like alternate dimension, where he’s technically real all the time, because he’s existing in this alternate dimension, but [here] he’s a cloud of spirit that materializes whenever you really need Kayvon in your life.”