Holding oneself to the standard of being “perfect” and without failure or flaws can heavily impact the ability to stay positive and truly enjoy the activities they love. Freshman Josselyn Bui’s constant expectations put on her has caused her to become more hesitant due to the fear of failing the people around her. 

“I was always compared to people, which gave me the impression that I had to become “perfect,” she said. “Throughout my life, I have met many people who depended on me and my strength — many of which were suicidal, had depression or complicated situations. After not being able to improve their situations, I started to become more afraid of helping others and failure.”

At a young age, Bui participated in various activities from Tae Kwon Do to the piano, which put a lot of pressure on her to repeat the task until it’s flawless. This eventually caused a decline in interest due to the fear of failure.

“I did a lot of activities when I was younger,” Bui said. “Whenever I couldn’t complete tasks both my parents and myself would become frustrated, and I would have to repeat the processes until I got it right.”

This consistent pressure and comparisons were inevitably emotionally draining on Bui.

“My emotions become affected,” she said. “I fall into a state of self-hatred and self-deprecation over my lack of ability.”

However, she has begun to break from this cycle of criticism and started being present in the relationships she cherishes in hopes of creating overall positivity.

“I no longer hold that ideal of becoming “perfect” and started to focus more on myself and the people around me,” Bui said. “I realized there are many people who go throughout a single person’s life, and I try to make sure my interactions with others won’t negatively impact them.”

Like Bui, nobody’s perfect. By surrounding yourself with people you love, they can aid in accepting the fears which cause you to hesitate and feel flawed.

“I still get frustrated when I cannot accomplish something,” Bui said. “Thanks to all the caring and cheerful people I have around me in my life I am able to get back up quickly and carry on. I am very grateful for the people who have made me into the person I am today.”