the guys:
Katy Johnson, Miss Vermont, 1999.
To every girl who is sick of being told to get back in the kitchen, you can thank her.
Right after you make me a sandwich.
Tucker Max, creator of TuckerMax.com, posted a story about a relationship with Johnson on his website, specifically mentioning Johnson’s promiscuity, drunken embarrassments and how immature and idiotic she was during the course of their relationship.
Johnson sued Max for invading her privacy.
Initially, Max was forced to take the story down.
However, the American Civil Liberties Union got involved and eventually the ruling was overturned.
Not only did this allow Max to keep the story up on his incredibly inappropriate website, but it also propelled him to internet fame, allowed him to publish two books filled with all sorts of hilarious debauchery and produce a movie based on one of his novels.
And so, the literary genre known as ‘fratire’ was born.
If you haven’t heard of it, I’m willing to bet every guy out there has used it at some point.
Tell a girl to get back in the kitchen, to only speak when spoken to or that a hilarious joke is women’s rights.
That is fratire.
Some women out there might take offense to fratire.
They probably don’t realize that fratire is a simple combination of the words ‘fraternity’ and ‘satire.’
Satire is the key word there.
That’s right, ladies.
It’s all a joke.
Just like when I ask ‘how many feminists does it take it change a light bulb’ (trick question, feminists can’t change anything), it is meant to get a laugh or to lighten the mood.
If you’re offended, you don’t have a reason to be.
It’s not like you have personally marched for the feminist cause.
That’s a whole different story.
I have nothing but respect for the original feminists who fought for their right to vote and the second-wave of feminists who fought for equal rights under the law.
But for the current wave of feminists?
Their only cause is to show that they aren’t all ‘sisters.’
Our generation shouldn’t be offended at casual, off-handed jokes because they have been told they should be offended.
They simply haven’t had to go through the same trials and tribulations women of past generations have.
That is why I maintain fratire is the greatest thing to happen to this generation since the invention of the Snuggie.
It shows us that we shouldn’t be sorry for what earlier generations of men did to women.
We haven’t kept them from the rights they deserve, which is why I never feel bad telling a woman that I’m hungry, and it is her job to fix that.
Students today have grown up in a period of time where no one is legally oppressed.
Everyone is on an equal footing now.
So calm down, take a deep breath and realize you have nothing to worry about.
Everything you might consider fighting for has already been taken care of by earlier generations.
Relax and learn how to take a joke.
the girls:
Want to hear a joke?
Women’s rights.
Everyone has heard it before — the playful wise-crack, the joking “Get back into the kitchen,” the laughter that always follows poking fun at women’s rights.
Why is it funny?
It’s not.
Women’s rights jokes are disrespectful to the past, present and to those around you.
Before you judge me as one of those crazy feminists and stop reading because you assume I’m uptight, wait just a second.
While in your mind it might be harmless humor, it’s important to understand how the humor affects those around you.
Looking back at the history of America, and even the world, there are thousands of cases of women spending their entire lives struggling for what they deserve — equality.
Think of all the women who have fought for not only women’s suffrage, but also the bigger picture.
A world without Marie Curie, Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks and Oprah Winfrey would certainly be a world worse off.
The present also displays the flawed comedy in women jokes.
Many countries didn’t grant women the right to vote until the 21st Century.
There are still nations in our so-called progressive world that do not extend rights to women, such as Saudi Arabia.
The women’s rights situation is especially dire in Iran.
In 2008, four women’s rights activists were convicted of spreading propaganda against Iran’s Islamic system after convincing the government not to pass a bill that would make polygamy easier for men to practice.
These four women were the leaders of the One Million Signature campaign, which sought to gather the signatures
of Iranians in support for equal women rights.
It’s just so funny that women are being arrested for trying to exercise rights that belong only to men.
Except not really.
In reality, it’s a tragedy that the ‘hilarious’ women jokes are only perpetuating.
Then, there are the females around you.
The ones who you probably assume don’t really care, because the women’s rights movement was so long ago, and everyone knows that you are “just kidding.”
Heads up, American women gained the right to vote less than 100 years ago.
Pretty recent.
It might be surprising, but some girls actually find these jokes insulting.
When a girl is working so hard, it’s frustrating to hear that she should be hanging in the kitchen instead of hanging in the gym, getting men food instead of getting good grades and making sandwiches instead of making art.
But if you still aren’t convinced, that’s your decision. Laugh off my column, maybe tell a kitchen joke for good measure.
Maybe you could go the extra mile and tell your mom to quit her job.
You don’t really need her to provide for you — you need her to get back where she belongs: making sandwiches.
And, by all means, in 20 years when you daughter tells you she wants to be a doctor when she grows up, let her know it’s not going to happen — because “she belongs in the kitchen.”
