Staffer vows to vote for Donald Trump in 2012 election

Sam Brennan, Ads manager

I finally turn 18 in July. I finally get to be an adult. I finally get to vote.
I’ve wanted to vote in the presidential election since I was 12.
Every piece of news that comes out in regard to the election I scrutinize with care. It’s a pretty big deal.
When I heard Donald Trump was considering running for office next year, I was ecstatic.
Trump and his silly looking hair are exactly what this country needs, and Melania Trump really embodies what the first lady of the this country is supposed to be.
In this short blog I hope to explain why I will be voting for Donald Trump in the 2012 election.
1. His life is the typical story of the American dream. He pulled himself up by the bootstraps and created the entrepreneurial icon that is Donald Trump. By that I mean he inherited $35 million from his father. His father made that money from real-estate. Almost every American can relate, I’m sure.
2. He relates to Americans on every economic level. Just because he has a $2.7 billion                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          net worth doesn’t mean he can’t understand the strife of those below the poverty line.
3. He can get us out of the debt. He has declared bankruptcy four times — clearly he knows a thing or two about it.
4. He controls the Miss America pageant. What better way to deal with obesity in America than forcing fatties to watch stick-thin women compete in swimsuit competitions?
5. He understands relationships because he has been in three different marriages.
6. He has a reality TV show. Why wouldn’t you vote for a guy with his own TV show?
7. He has a bold personality, and won’t take no for an answer. He will tell the oil cartels who is boss. Or he will fire them.
8. He is a business man. He knows how to move quickly through the red-tape. And make money at other people’s expense.
So Trump, I can’t wait for you to declare on your show, The Apprentice, that you’re running for office in 2012. I know I will vote for you even if you are a little inexperienced in the political department.
I would definitely trust you with our country’s national defense and horrible economy.
After all, you’re the self made man.
Trump 2012.