Opinion: commentary on GOP candidates

Emily Brown, Opinion Editor

Editor’s Note: This is the column as it appeared in the November issue of The Tiger Print with added candidates that did not fit in the print edition. Some portions may be the same, but there are web-exclusive additions.
Michele Bachmann:
http://www.michelebachmann.com/As a former federal tax attorney, Mrs. Bachmann, you probably know something about the federal taxation system. Unfortunately, you remind me too much of Sarah Palin. You have her same voice, opinions and overall look. I have nothing against the former Alaskan governor, but there was a reason she and her running partner, John McCain, weren’t elected into office.
Also, you claim that you want to bring a new voice to the White house. One that encourages constitutional conservatism, limited government, and a secure America. No offense, but that is definitely not new. At all.

Herman Cain:

Former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, you, Herman Cain are truly the chupacabra of the political world — a real candidate from the private sector.
Unfortunately, I think you should stay right where you are.
Let’s begin with your 9-9-9 plan — a taxation system that would have a flat 9 percent business tax, individual tax and national sales tax. You hope to expand the GDP and create new jobs from this system. Nothing to complain about there.
But like Michele Bachmann said during the New Hampshire debate, “When you take the 9-9-9 plan, and you turn it upside down, the devil is in the details.”
Sure, it sounds like a nice deal. However, you still haven’t provided the public with specific details. Right now, it is simply a well-marketed idea.
You also have a major issue with saying joking things that really aren’t funny. Like putting up an electric fence on our border. In the Iowa presidential debate, you said “America has got to learn how to take a joke.”
Ha ha, electrocuting illegal immigrants. Wait, that isn’t funny, Mr. Cain. You are the one who needs to work on your sense of humor. However, threatening to cut the salaries of congressional representatives until they solve the debt issue, is something I can heartily agree with.

Newt Gingrich:

I’ll be honest. Before writing this article and the necessary research that goes along with it, I really had no idea who you were.
Perhaps, that is an error on my part. Because as I started going through your website, I was impressed with one major thing. First, your pledge to enact several executive orders on your first day, if you were to be elected president. Though these orders might not be the most important of political issues, the knowledge that a president is working to change the present system on his first day is refreshing.
However, some of your recent endeavors worry me. Your campaign manager and senior staffer’s recently resigned, claiming a lack of focus on your part and worries over spending. Nytimes.com reported that you and your wife have up to a $500,000 of credit lined up at Tiffany & Company
I like your ideas, but I don’t think the U.S. needs a president who racks up that much debt, at a jewelry store, no less.

Jon Huntsman: 

Of all the GOP candidates, Jon, you are my favorite.
Unlike 90 percent of all politicians, you seem to have some intelligence. And your previous job as ambassador to China, well, let’s just say we need that experience right now.
You believe that gay marriage should be legal and still have the conservative monetary policies I support.
Basically, you are the best of both liberal and conservative worlds. You aren’t extreme like Ron Paul, but you still have that aura of change about you.
Also, your hair is pretty cool. In the debates, you are one of the calmest of the bunch, and you don’t freak out every time the moderators basically ignore you, like Mr. Santorum does.
And boycotting the GOP debate in Las Vegas to campaign in New Hampshire because of disputes over caucus dates?
Well, that is gutsy, and one of the coolest things I’ve seen in this campaign so far.

Ron Paul: 

Your campaign slogan is very simple: “Restore America Now.” Many candidates have promised change and restoration of former American values. Yet, you are one of the few who has convinced me that change can happen. You are famous for your consistent voting record, and you never vote for legislation unless it is expressly authorized by the Constitution. Of all of the politicians on this list, you are the least like a politician.
I’m not sure if you will be elected in 2012. Your views are a little extreme, like the end of the Federal Reserve, the legalization of all drugs and prostitution and ending federal aid like Medicare and Social Security. But I’ve got to say. Your isolationist foreign policy is starting to look mighty good at the moment with the Middle Eastern situation worsening day by day and our high deficit.
But I just don’t think America is ready for you, Ron Paul. And I doubt they ever will be.

Rick Perry: 


Rick, I’ll be honest. I wish you would just go away. Your debating skills are horrible, and you like an utter fool up there. You turn questions into rants against other candidates, and mudslinging seems to be your forté. Your interruptions in all of the debates make you look like a 10-year-old girl who has been slighted.
Like Mitt Romney said in the Las Vegas debate, “If you want to become President of the United States, you should learn to let other people speak.”
And as for your policies, you don’t really seem to know what is going on there either. Yes, the state you govern, Texas, has been successful economically. But you haven’t been able to deal with one of the main issues plaguing the government today — illegal immigration.
According to insidermonkey.com, illegal immigrants make up 6.58 percent of the Texas population, ranking third on the list of the worst states for illegal immigration.

Mitt Romney:
http://www.mittromney.com/If America voted simply on how a candidate handles themselves during debates, Mr. Romney, you would be a sure winner. How you remained so calm when you were attacked for your “Romneycare” and Mormon faith, I have no idea. If I’d been you, I would have ended the Las Vegas GOP debate very quickly by tackling Governor Perry to the ground.
However, if America votes on the issues, you probably won’t be elected. It isn’t that anything you say is wrong, rude or stupid. Just that we’ve heard the same things over and over. Nothing in your policies indicates change. But compared to the some of the other candidates, you seem cool and collected.
Which might be a plus for pulling together the near irrevocably split Congress and House.

Rick Santorum: 

One of the first things that Mr. Santorum addresses on his website is that he is a “Champion of Faith and Families.”
Sadly, this is not an election for a town preacher. Yeah, yeah, marriage is good. Love the family.
But, honestly, what does the federal government have to do with the structure of the home? Nothing. Mr. Santorum, stop preaching about how marriage is fundamental to society and start explaining what would you do as president, policy-wise.
Your other main two posts on your website are “Defender of the Tax Payer” and “Believer in American Exceptionalism.”
I’m sorry, but I don’t believe I’ve ever met a candidate that is not for these two things.
Don’t worry too much, though. It is pretty obvious from the polls that no one thinks you are president-worthy, either.