Ahh, graduation.
In my mind, I see Orlando Bloom standing on the stage of the Hollywood and Highland Center, formerly known as the Kodak Theatre. In his right hand, an envelope. In his other gorgeous hand, there is a microphone, which he uses to announce the winner.
With a flashy smile, he opens the envelope and calls out my name “Emily Brown.” Well, duh.
Still, I pretend to be surprised, and I shake my head in fake shock. Of course, I’m sitting at a glamorous table with Leonardo DiCaprio and a much younger version of Brad Pitt.
A round of hugs and pats on the back, and then I’m strutting to the stage in my Fall 2010 Chanel Couture dress, completely decked out in jewels.
I throw a wink at Josh Hutcherson on my way up. I mean, why not?
Once I reach the stage, some smiling model hands me my award. A golden tiger statue, in honor of my high school graduation. My name and the words “Release the Kraken,” are inscribed into the base of the statue. Obviously, it is all written in Comic Sans. Gotta love journalism inside jokes!
After a hug from Orlando Bloom, which might have lasted too long, I make my way to the podium. I’m here. After four grueling years of putting up with moronic directors and diva co-stars, I’ve finally made it.
Thank the journalism gods that all of that annoyingness was balanced with knowledgeable producers and a few amazing fellow actors.
Time for my acceptance speech.
OK, OK. The likeliness of all of the above ever happening is a whopping 0 percent. Yet, this is how I picture my senior column and my impending graduation. So, I might as well stay true to the theme and give my version of a diploma acceptance speech.
A simple thank you.
Firstly, I would like to thank every person who has read my stories this year. To every individual who walked up to me and complimented me on my writing. Or even just wanted to share a relating personal story. Thank you, because I’ve remembered every single comment.
Thank you to all of the people who allowed me to interview them this year. Thank you for sharing your amazing stories with me and putting up with any stupid questions I asked.
Thank you to Mrs. Chittum, my editors and my fellow Tiger Print staff members. For putting up with my political rants and my borderline obsession with commas. COMMA.
Thank you to my family. Mom, Dad, Ash, Ryan and Chester. You guys truly are my best friends.
Thanks Grandma and Sophie for watching over me from heaven.
All of these people, along with God, have given me hope for a future career in words — whether publishing or journalism. They have inspired me to continue doing what I love most. Reading and writing.
Annoying classical music starts playing because I’ve gone far over my word-count limit.
Senior Column: ‘Time for my acceptance speech.’
Emily Brown, Opinions Editor
May 4, 2012