Despite late-night victories, procrastination makes like difficult

Jansen Hess, Sports Editor

We all do it. Myself in particular.
I always tell myself that today will be different and I’ll get to bed at a decent hour.
I tell myself I’ll come home, buckle down and knock out my Spanish, physics and precalc homework in an hour and a half. I’ll head off to soccer practice then come home and get right back to work.
I’ll start reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and try to comprehend what Jim is saying.
History comes next, but I seldom have anything to do.
Next is newspaper, then AP Chemistry.
And promptly at 10 p.m. I would crawl under the covers and go to bed.
I’d even get the recommended eight hours of sleep.
That’s how my ideal after school life would be. But procrastination is just too fun.
I get home from school around 3:15 pm. I just got done with school, so why not kick back and catch up on my shows? I mean, I have soccer in an hour and a half, so why start if I can’t finish?
Alright, Criminal Minds, it is.
Shoot, it’s 4:30. Better go get ready for practice.
Alright, well, now I’m all sweaty. I’ll just go take a really quick shower. Just kidding I’ll stand in there for 30 minutes contemplating the meaning of life.
Wow 7 o’clock already? Guess it’s dinner time.
OK. I’m really gonna start now.
Pulls books and binders and folders (OH MY) out of backpack and onto desk. Opens laptop.
Now, lets make the perfect homework playlist.
Oh my gosh, I love this song!
Commence solo dance party around room.
OK, OK. Time to start.
Usa las palabras para completar la historia.
No gracias…
Click. Open Google Translate.
Is that even a word? I swear we didn’t learn this.
Fills in randomly and hopes it’s a completion grade. Texts friends to see if they understood.
Suspicions confirmed.
Time for physics. Seriously? This worksheet is front and back? Ughhhh… good thing I actually understand this.
Hmmm. To start precalc, or to start newspaper? Precalc it is. Opens to page. Time for a snack. Sees clock.
How the hell is it 10:30 pm?
Psh, I got this. Finishes math homework in 15 minutes with a little help from
Facebook notification: Kelly Cordingley has posted in the BV Tiger Print Staff 2012-2013: Tomorrow will be a work day.
Shoot. 11 pm. Only AP Chem left.
Start playing Rocky theme song, Eye of the Tiger, or It’s the Final Countdown. Or all three.
Worksheets are done within an hour. Now time to finish Owl aka Hell in the Chemistry world.
Hmmm how many do I have left? 20?!
Tweet #teamnosleep and start group message with fellow chemistry procrastinators who have not yet finished owl. Question if the material was actually taught.
Two a.m. Only three more left. Correction: Only three impossible ones left.
Thirty minutes: no progress. I repeat. I have redone the same problem for 30 minutes.
Assume the fetal position and admit defeat. Cry until asleep.
I really hope you read this and see a little bit of yourself. And I hoped you at least chuckled at some of the similarities.
I also hope you see how easy and detrimental procrastination is, and how you should try and quit. Let’s be real, the first scenario seems a lot nicer than the second. The extra sleep you get can improve your health, your mood and probably your grades.
But procrastination makes a much better story.