Ever since elementary school it seems we’ve been scolded and warned about the negative effects of gossip. High school isn’t much different — besides that now with social media, we are constantly being lectured more specifically on the power of our words.

We’ve heard the same phrases all our lives.

“Don’t talk about people behind their back,” “Be careful what you say online,” and, “Words are hurtful.”

Gossip is toxic and often inconsiderate.

But gossip happens.

Talking about other people is the high school version of receiving CNN breaking news alerts is in ‘the real world.’

It’s how we communicate.

Whether you’re complaining about a peer who you think never does anything right, informing a friend of the drama they missed at the party last night or talking about a questionable fashion choice someone made that day, you must realize what you are doing may unintentionally hurt someone.

But, we’ve all done it regardless.

Few of us set out with the motive to hurt others.

Yet unfortunately, gossip is how we converse with each other and it is not going away anytime soon.

We must understand friends will talk about us behind our backs at some point or another, and we will talk about them.

This does not mean you should completely excuse a friend from saying something horrible about you behind your back, but it also doesn’t mean you need to end your friendship with them.

Sometimes, what we consider ‘gossip,’ is unavoidable.

Sometimes we get so caught up in a moment and we can’t hold it in anymore.

Teenagers shouldn’t have to keep their feelings bottled up just because they’re negative.

When we have a problem in a friendship, it is often easier to rant about it with another friend before approaching the situation head-on.

If you find out your best friend of ten years told their other friend they think you talk too much, you may feel sad at first, but you should not take it to heart.

What we say about others unfortunately does not accurately reflect a whole lot about us.

Sometime we get stuck in awkward situations in a conversation and we say things we normally wouldn’t have — sometimes just to fit in — sometimes because we can’t help it.

That doesn’t mean we don’t care about our friends.

If the uncommon occurrence happens that you overhear a friend talking about you in a disrespectful way and it actually hurts you, you should tell them that. Though not always ideal, direct communication is always best for working out problems in a relationship.

However, gossip does not usually come with problems.

Gossip is usually just there.

And generally, gossip should be taken with a grain of salt.

Not taken personally.