I have deleted and remade my Instagram at least three times. I’ve gone back and forth between loving twitter and disabling it. My relationship with social media has been just about as bumpy as fifty percent of marriages today. I love sharing photos of places I’ve been, things I’m doing or just because I liked the picture. I love reading the small anecdotes of public opinion on Twitter. And of course, I absolutely love the food channel videos on snapchat. But I noticed something really wrong after a few years of indulging

myself in modern technology. I was slowly beginning to loathe parts of me.

It wasn’t like this wasn’t already happening before. Since I was in the sixth grade I straightened my curls because I wanted to look like every other female on Instagram or Tumblr. Now, I wear them proudly — most of the time.

As I got older, the competition got closer. The likes began to matter more. The followers, the pictures, the clothing you wear, the way your feed looks, all of it began to matter more. I began to delete posts I loved because they didn’t get enough likes or they didn’t fit well with the rest of my photos. Yes, I’ve been there. We all have.

When I deleted Instagram and remade it for the final time, I made myself a promise. I would use it to be me. I wanted it to be an online display of the person I really was — the girl who struggles with anxiety and depression and who has a really weird taste in fashion and hates pants. I love my friends and my cat and I don’t care about whether or not that is attractive to thousands of people on the internet who I will never meet. No, when a person follows me, I know its because they are interested in me. Not the person I want them to see. The entire concept of a “fake Instagram” is hilarious to me — and yes, I used to have one. Let people see who you are. Post things because you think they’re cool or interesting, not because you want someone halfway across the world to think you’re cute.

Literally, you’re never going to meet them.

This generation makes me sick sometimes. We feed into the things we hate. We hate superficiality yet more than half of us are textbook examples of that word. We want loyalty in our relationships, but we aren’t willing to display the same loyalty to our partners. We have an amazing opportunity at our fingers and we are using it against ourselves. So, the next time you’re upset because they got more likes than you, turn off your phone and do something that means something to the world.