Imagine that you’re wandering through a long, narrow hallway lit by flickering fluorescent lights, just to be greeted at the end of the hallway by the unpleasant sound of crying children, headache-inducing outdoor green and red strobe lights and ‘holiday’ music that sounds more like nails on a chalkboard — i’m looking at you, Mariah Carey — this is an example of something as simple as a trip to Target any time before New Year’s day.

That’s right, the dreaded holiday season.

It all starts on Thanksgiving day.

The turkey is overcooked, dry and lacks even basic seasoning, you have to wait at least half an hour in line to get dinner that you’ve already waited all day for, and then you have to pretend that you’re enjoying yourself around your family.

Don’t even get me started on Black Friday.

Who in their right mind wants to camp outside of a walmart for hours on a cold night just so they can get a television that’s discounted at twenty percent off?

Apparently, after these two holidays, it gives my Dad a pass to play loads of christmas music at full volume in his bedroom at night because it ‘helps him fall asleep and stay in the holiday spirit.’ And it’s not just my dad, either.

It’s everyone.

Everywhere.

Even when the dreaded christmas day finally passes, you still have to deal with holiday tunes and long lines at the grocery store, filled with people who are impatiently waiting to return a gift that they didn’t like.

That, in short, is why New Year’s day will always be my favorite holiday. It’s an end to the hell that is the winter holiday season.