Nov. 21, 2018 marked the final day of Instagram, the social media platform, being downloaded on my phone; the sole memorial being an explanation required by Instagram to deactivate my three accounts. With the height of my social media presence, I had amassed roughly 1,600 followers between the three accounts, a number that I became obsessed with.    

I often found my time devoted to refreshing Instagram in hopes of a new follower or like on my most recent photo, but no matter the number of posts, likes, and followers, I constantly felt disappointed. I would look at the accounts of my peers and be confused about what made their posts worthy of more likes or a greater amount of followers. I believed that the best way to combat the compulsiveness to check Instagram was to deactivate and delete.

Being frustrated by seeing the glamorous lives of others was much avoided by deleting Instagram, but I didn’t escape the obsession of wanting to constantly be noticed by others on digital platforms. I persistently check my phone, hoping for a response from a certain person or hopes of someone starting a conversation with me as those usually carry a greater satisfaction than I would face with a non-digital view of the world around me.

As much of an issue as constantly checking my phone is, I know there’s no way I can go more than an hour without checking it. I’ll try to use it less though; delete Snapchat for a day, put my phone on do not disturb, or any other small attempts to distance the necessity for my phone. With these maybe I’ll be just a little bit happier when I see that I got a text back or am prompted to talk to others not out of boredom, but for the sake of having a conversation.