I’m not sure at what age I realized people began to associate negative aspects of themselves with those same traits in others, but after I recognized this behavior, it’s been difficult to shake the acute awareness that it’s far too common.

Perhaps prompted by comments on TikTok such as “I love the confidence!” and “I wish I could post things like this,” I have recently become even further tuned into these acts of projection.

I haven’t received one of these comments, but seeing them doled out to others brought me to reflection. Why should the beauty of one person — especially one who is embracing qualities others see as unfit in themselves — prompt a comment that applies their insecurity to the unassuming receiver?

Especially in an age where each person has unlimited access to sharing themselves and their life online, I’ve found what was once perceived as a “beauty standard” is more of a blurred line.

Sure, magazines and fashion designers, as well as the fashion industry as a whole, is far behind the realities of societal standards — but even these ancient media superpowers are beginning to fall in line with changing acceptance protocols.

Granted, there are still ridiculous standards of beauty which are toxic in general, but I have noticed many different versions of beauty are becoming normalized and celebrated.

This is a much needed shift in the perception of beauty in the media, but the one viewpoint trailing behind this acceleration in acceptance is the acceptance of oneself.

While it is becoming ever more common to celebrate our differences, the notice of conceived “faults” in ourselves — or simply put, insecurities — lead to the projection of these onto unassuming individuals who share what one may dislike about themselves.

To be blunt, no one cares if you are not comfortable with yourself, especially if your means of coping involve bringing down others who remain confident with these similar features.

Life is not a confidence or appearance competition, and if any person is confident in themselves and decides they want to celebrate their existence, there is no place for unwanted comments that no doubt try to force the receiver into seclusion.