Ever since I can remember, I’ve always wanted to go to college. The thought of starting over in a completely different place with new people and opportunities was comforting to my little freshman self.   

Although now that it’s actually here, I wish I didn’t spend so much time counting down the days and worrying about the little things — like how my hair looked or if I studied for that test enough — because in the end, that never really mattered anyway.

At the beginning of freshman year I never quite felt like I fit in, but now that I think about it, maybe that’s because I impulsively chose to dye my entire head blue the summer before freshman year. But that’s beside the point. I think we’ve all felt out of place at one point or another, but that’s what high school is for. You have to figure out who you aren’t in order to find out who you are. And, for me at least, high school definitely did that.

I learned I am not good with directions. That being said, at the end of my sophomore year, two years into high school, I was finally able to locate the nurse’s office — with the help of at least two other people.

I also learned I am not a public speaker. Although, with my newly found nurse’s office and a caring mother to check me out, I was lucky to find ways around it — or at least buy me more time.

In a few short months, I’m going to be miles away from everything and everyone I love and I’m absolutely terrified. I thought that by the time I was a senior I’d be more than ready to leave. After all, it’s what we’ve all been wishing and waiting for, right?

I’ve never felt less ready than I do right now. But someone once told me that if you keep waiting until you’re ready, you’ll be waiting forever. So, we just have to take the leap and see what happens.

As the days fly by toward graduation, I find myself trying to recall all of the lasts of my high school experience. My last dance. My last time walking by the band playing during an assembly. My last football game. Even the last time I heard Mr. Bacon give his famous GRRRR.

Thinking about these has made me realize how little I appreciated them in the moment and how much I appreciate them now.

Don’t waste time waiting for high school to be over; make the most of it while you can because, if this past year has taught us seniors anything, it’s taught us that you never know when your lasts will happen.

I’m going to miss BV more than I ever thought I would, and I can’t believe I’m finally saying goodbye. But as the great Winnie the Pooh once said, “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”