Cherish Lost Friendships

appreciate merits of ex-friends

Cherish Lost Friendships

Charlie Trent, Editor-In-Chief

In the February issue, one of the members of the Tiger Print staff reminded me of an age-old phrase which was lost to the void of my subconscious: Friends are here for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Like many of you reading likely have as well, I’ve experienced a myriad of friendships throughout my lifetime, all of which have cycled in and out of closeness, some of which have ended in a sort of “friendship breakup.” Maybe it’s because I’m a teenage girl, more likely because I’m human, I have coped with losses of friendships in many ways — a few I’m proud of, a few not so much.

We’ve all said hurtful words, which, similar to attempting to put toothpaste back into its tube after it’s been squeezed on the counter, is nearly impossible — always irrevocable. While after the dust has settled I have easily regretted the poison that has escaped my mouth, what I have never regretted was the fact that I was ever their friend in the first place.

I have never ended a friendship for reasons I would consider futile — boys, being left out, etc. — because I truly invest myself once I form a close friendship with loyalty and compassion. Because of this, each friend I have held close to my heart throughout my life has provided inexplicable and immeasurable joy and value to my life.

I will forever be thankful for the gift of their time which they have given me; after all, time, especially in adolescence, is limited. Memories I can one day pass on to my children, nieces or nephews cannot be soiled by what inevitably brought an end to the connection — no matter how ugly.

Especially as a senior in my last quarter of high school and soon entering adulthood, I’ve found that the friendships I’ve lost along the way have fundamentally altered who I am as an individual and taught me important lessons about my values and morals. If this is the case, how could I ever feel sour or hold those who I’ve grown apart from in anything but the highest regard?

Though the urge to spew upset and unhappiness toward past friends years after conflict is difficult, I urge you to consider the relativity of their negative traits when compared to their person as a whole.

Of course there will always be time necessary for healing, but after the salt is cleared from the wound and the injury has been mended, remember that the doors which have been closed — or slammed — shut will always have been built upon the original love you once shared in your friendship.

Furthermore, consider that the ending of friendships is not inherently bad, and that this connection may have expired in its service to both individuals, but not in its service of constructing the fabric of your identity.