“It has become the biggest relief to know I am capable of producing my own, steady stream of joy.”


Kaitlin Green, Publication Editor

When I reflect on my time at BV, most of my memories of school itself contain a flurry of learning and activities. I always made an effort to be the best I could, and even though I knew some may view my actions as “try-hard” behavior, I never thought it was a bad thing.

But as winter approached each year, I cyclically grew unhappy with myself and the things that filled my time. I assumed my apathy was because I cared — everyone in high school, and in life for that matter, is busy. Who was I to complain?

I thought “pushing through” would remedy my situation. Each day was filled with constant additions to my to-do list, and each night was spent putting tasks off for fear of not doing them well.

Senior year is just about the worst if you’re a procrastinating perfectionist like me — you have to juggle the work of high school while simultaneously being aware that your entire life is about to change.

I don’t think I noticed how overwhelmed I was this year until Editor-in-Chief Charlie Trent looked at me one day in editor’s hour and said worriedly, “You look like you’re always stressed.”

She may not remember that conversation, but it put things into perspective: trying my best wasn’t the issue but forgetting to soak up all the little things that make life worth living was.

It also reminded me of a Bible verse I have taped up on my mirror, one that I know by heart yet had seemingly forgotten. The verse comes from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and says, “Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in every situation because this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Even if you’re not religious, I think that statement holds a universal truth.

Life’s purpose is not to travel between fleeting moments of happiness, but instead, is to search for joy in each and every part of our day. The smallest moments can offer the greatest potential for fulfillment.

Taking an interest in others and making relationships a priority throughout the day gives my life more purpose.

When my room turns into a cesspool of dishes and dirty laundry, taking a Saturday to clean everything at once helps me feel productive and prepared for college in the fall.

Sending yet another meme about Pride and Prejudice to Design Editor Ayesha Khan and sharing our love for Mr. Darcy’s “hand scene” instantly makes my heart smile.

It has become the biggest relief to know I am capable of producing my own, steady stream of joy. It will always be OK to not be OK, but I can finally exhale knowing that no matter what happens in the future, I’ll be able to make it out on the other side in one piece.

Life is not always going to be amazing, but I think that is the point. I have to believe we are put in tough situations to learn how truly spectacular and precious the small gifts in our lives are.

So, take the time to look at your life as it is and find whatever it is that brings you joy. No matter how insignificant it may seem, I promise pursuing it can only make your time at BV, and in life, the best it can be.