At the beginning of my senior year, I dealt with the same roadblock many of my peers did — college admissions. And for the first time ever, I had to write essays on a topic I knew everything about but still had nothing to say: myself.

From my time in Newspaper, I had become used to writing about other people. Now, I had to be the subject of
my own stories. I churned out so many essays about who I felt I had been over the course of my high school career to present to
the schools I applied to. And here I am to write one more time about who I have been — this time, not for schools to
assess me on, but for the activity I love, for the people I have been so lucky to spend time with, and for myself.

I didn’t really like Newspaper when I first joined. I can point out the exact spot in the corner of my now beloved Room 518 where sophomore-year-me quietly sat, scared out of my mind. Scared of the million tasks it felt like I had, of InDesign, of Mrs. Huss and of the massive cameras I still don’t really know how to use.

I remember listening to the seniors read their columns at the end of that year. It seemed entirely alien to me that someone could look back so fondly on this class I was literally terrified of. I couldn’t even picture being able to write a senior column of my own. Even though I had signed up to take Newspaper my junior year, I really couldn’t see myself staying for the whole year after that.
And yet, here I am!

I’m still bad at taking pictures, and I still fight with InDesign on every issue, but Newspaper no longer completely overwhelms me and I am able to make eye-contact with Huss. In a lot of ways, I’m still that terrified girl in the back of the classroom. In as many ways, I am someone completely different.

As cheesy as it is, I really do believe change is the only constant in life. And the great thing about high school is that it is the time to change, to grow, to find yourself. I did a lot of things in high school I didn’t enjoy, I was in the wrong a lot in conflicts and I made a lot of mistakes.

But, as I approach the end, I can’t find it in myself to be upset about everything I felt I did wrong. I’ve been lucky to have been given an environment to find who I wanted to be and not felt trapped in who I am. I have been able to find subjects and activities I’m passionate about, meet and care for people who have made me better and to feel as if I have a better understanding of who I
think I should be.
My freshman year, I had no clue what I wanted to do with myself and my life. I didn’t know what career I wanted to pursue, what activities I wanted to get into and how I wanted people to see me. My sense of self was blurry at best. And over the last
four years, I think it has started to come into focus.